I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
