They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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