How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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