epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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