So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
