It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
