I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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