maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
