So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
