...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
