Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
