I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
