Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I party with great urgency now.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
