If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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