White coat. Heels.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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