On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
