how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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