My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
