The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
