another moral hangover. fuck.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Are we still banned from the library?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize