Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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