Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
