Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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