I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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