ya dads aren't the best wingmen
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
