You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
