My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
