This girl is more easily done than said...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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