My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
