when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
