she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
