if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
