i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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