thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Your face is a jimmy john
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
