I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
