Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
third nipple confirmed
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
