Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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