am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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