he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
