i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
