honey bunches of taint.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
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