is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
pop tarts are not kleenex
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
