so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
How's work?
Spinning.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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