I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
