My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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