just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
