Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
