I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
