I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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