What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
