If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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