Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
