Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
