Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
