Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
